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Irrational thoughts…

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I think my hormones are changing, I’m getting ready to give birth… Isn’t it funny how emotional you feel as your body begins that change into motherhood again, I could cry all the time, and when I say all the time, I really mean it! My head is racing with irrational thoughts, I look around at our family as it stands right now and think to myself ‘am I really crazy, do we not have enough chaos in our lives right now?’ The thing I worry about the most is my little Florence, how she will cope with all of this… I know I have done this many, many times before, but I really feel Florrie is different, you see she is the youngest in a family of grown ups and almost grown up siblings, she is the absolute apple of each and every brother and of course sister, rone minute she is a complete Mommy’s girl, then the next she is kissing and cuddling her Daddy! Everyone absolutely dotes on her 100% of the time! there is always someone around to cater to her every need… To see her 27 year old brother sitting on the floor letting her brush his hair and put bows in it, is remarkable and extremely touching… So you see, she really is the princess in this large family!

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I’m not sure if you all know, but my little girl still sleeps in our bed every night, although she loves tucking into her Mom and Dad, sometimes I think it is like a security blanket for me, I know where she is of a night, if she wakes up I am there to cuddle her without getting out of bed, and although hugely pregnant and running out of space in our bed, I love her warm breath touching my face… But it is time to move on, so a trip to Ikea yesterday saw us with a new bed frame, mattress and bedding for my little girls newly decorated room, she is very excited about her big girls bed like Mabel, but I have to say I am nervous, maybe it’s those hormones again, but it makes me want to cry, how will she cope with being a big sister and a new bed, even as I type I feel my eyes welling up with love and worry for this little girl, suddenly she not only has to share her Mommy but also her new room… I know irrationality has set in and I am being a crazy pregnant lady… Who knew I was this crazy,I normally give an air of such calmness… I wish!

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The most frustrating thing this pregnancy is the nesting instinct, it’s here, but I ache so much that I have all these ideas Of what I want done before this little man arrives, but my poor old body is saying 8 children is too many to carry… Bending is hard, walking is hard and energy levels are low, so I am trying to get a few things done, but in all honesty I am just too exhausted! Moaning aside, I realize that we are very lucky to have what we have in this life, so although my emotions are crazy and my body is old and achey… I am one very lucky Mum, to have been so lucky to have my wonderful family (at times… Ha, ha)… No matter what anyone else thinks 8 children maybe crazy, but we are the family we are, and life is never boring, that is for sure!

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